As is life..

I don't want to be at home today. I was sent home for work because my hours were apparently not scheduled. That's a mistake in itself because I remember scheduling them.

So today was not the greatest of days. I don't know, I just feel...as if I'm loosing out on something. As if something is perhaps going to go wrong any minute now. Ironically everytime I say a comment like 'life is brilliant right now. It's going really well!' something happens to occur that stunts what I just said. It's the reason why I never say that things are going well anymore, because I just don't know what will happen next.

Today at work I came across such a wonderful gesture of a dignified response to homosexuality: 'I think it's disgusting'. I happened to be sitting directly opposite this individual.

Whether any circumstance be what they are, people should start to watch out what they say in places where other people work. People should realise that where we live and how we live is very diverse. It is a simple fact of life. There are gay/transgender/lesbian/black/white/jewish/chinese etc etc all across the world, in which they exist everywhere. For a singular person to echo a response in classification of discrimation/predjudice is really not acceptable, even if it is in conversation.

I decided that I was not going to do anything about it even though it made me uncomfortable to sit close by to her, therefore moving seats. I don't hate this individual or even dislike that person, but a part of me feels that I want to keep my distance in the knowledge that this person thinks that particular way.

Understandable is it not?

Or perhaps I am being a tad dramatic.

Either way, I wish people would not have this fucking fanatic viewpoint of any kind of person be it whoever they are. What is it to anyone how anyone else conducts their life!? This is what I simply do not understand. I am certainly not flaunting it in anyone's face that I am gay, neither am I forcing myself physically or emotionally onto them, so why is it that there are people out there that feel they should flaunt their discrimatory opinions at other's who live the way they do?

It's certainly not like I walk around and try to generate hate. I never discrimate against a single person because people are who they are despite the colour of their skin, their beliefs, their viewpoints on topics of the world. I do not usher an opinion in the way in which someone lives (unless by exceptional circumstances in how they conduct their lifestyle is morally indistinct) because people are entitled to whatever path they wish to follow.

Is that not how it should be?

Some people have this fucking ridiculous belief that 'gay people choose to become gay'. That angers me. Firstly, if they are not gay, then they have absolutely no idea as to how a person establishes they're sexual identity and I can safely say that I did not choose to 'transform' into what I am. As far as I know, I was brought up and I simply just 'am' who I am. To underline that I tried to convince myself I was fully attracted to the opposite sex for eight years: that did not work. So I am assuming that it is simply not a 'quick decision', but nurtured/natured into a person from the beginning.

I shall not pretend for anyone. My belief stands for myself, and I believe that to be happy you have to accept who you are and how you have become. Ultimate happiness is established within yourself and to be happy you have to be comfortable in your own skin. I'm comforable. More then comfortable in fact: this year will be the first in which I am ten times more happier then I have ever been in my life.

So for all people who claim to be homophobic, I wish that you come to your senses at one point or another and realise that judging who a person is on the basis of a so called 'label' is incredibly narrow minded. Let those people recognise who a person is on the sole realisation of their character and how they conduct themselves morally in society.

I certainly do not hate people who are homophobic. I don't even dislike them because I'd be judging them solely on one belief, when in retrospect other aspects of them could be very nice. At the same time I am extremely opinionated about my beliefs in not judging by 'labels'. Therefore my belief will no doubt clash against someone who is completely on a polar opposite. If not in speech then in thought and even then, it can show in behaviour.

I therefore, feel the need to be simply polite to people but that is as far as it may go. I am completely against discrimination or predjudice in any fashion whatsoever.

People live as they see fit, as is life.