My phone is broken but I'm glad I don't have a massive penis.

The phone is broke.

...and I'm sitting here on my bed in a pissed off mood because I was the one that did the deed. If it's anything that I get fucked off with, it's when technology does not work properly for no good reason. I plugged my phone in to the USB port so I could transfer my photo's I took of last night onto Facebook and Myspace but the thing was not responding at all. I proceeded to try the other USB port and neither did that work.

Nada then starts to get from 0% on the calm scale, rising almost immediately to that 100% mark of being totally discontent. Temper rising by the second, I yank the phone from the USB cord and throw it with force down onto the floor in front of me. I then lean over coolly to see the damage...Yep, the phone is in about five different pieces. I pick the phone up, and look at it from different angles. The screen is broken, the buttons are not actually connected to it anymore, the battery is on the other side of the floor, but luckily the SIM card is still in tact.

I say 'fuck' a few times, before attempting to engage the pieces together and make the stupid thing work again (fat chance). Nope, nothing happens respectably. The only thing that seems to be working is the screen turning on and off and that's virtually all. I breathe a *sigh* before going back on msn and explaining to my friends that I just broke the phone. Angelika replies 'That's quite worrying' whilst Hannah advises 'Calm down Nada!'.

This is something silly. I always give in to my temper in regards to technology. If something doesn't work I'll go mad. Equally if it does not work for no good reason, then I'll go even more mad then before. I have broken this laptop three times but I actually refuse to even go near it if anything goes wrong because I've learnt my lesson in that area. I love the internet too much to do it again.

Luckily I don't have a girlfriend that I have to keep in touch with or otherwise I may be more screwed then I am now. I don't really care actually. The only thing I care about is the fact that I have to phone up Orange, give this god awful excuse to shy away from the fact that it was my fault that I was the one that broke it (Consequently the comprehensive insurance does not cover anything if you damage the product yourself understandably).

I shall do that in approximately ten minutes, and then I shall go out and buy a cheap ass phone which was made way back in 1998 or something, just to receive text messages.

I'm such a shit really.

But at least I don't have that massive penis attached to me like I dreamt of the other night. Now that was probably more disturbing than the phone or my temper with technology. I have no idea why I dreamt it, but it was very spontaneous. I happened to be in a room with a double bed. I think it was my old room in my house where I used to live when I was growing up. And I got up and walked around with it very erect and hard. It was absolutely massive and yes, I have seen some penises in my time. Comparing this one to the ones I have seen, well...there is no comparison. This one was huge! I actually felt the texture of it and everything. I then walked around my room with it erect looking at it in awe and repeating 'Wow! This is so cool/weird'

Penis envy? No. Sex change? No! What would Sigmond Freud say? Probably nothing to do with sex, that dream would be too obvious. He would probably it's to do with the fact that I'm not getting paid enough at work or I'm going to come across some crossroad in life and have to make a decision.

Well...Time to get my fat ass out of this bed and sort out this phone then.

One good thing that will occur today - I'm playing football today. I like playing football as opposed to watching it.